I'll be here

~Zombaholic

Also, I saved all the arts for friends and the Requests. I thought you'd still like your characters and what not

After a bit of consideration I've thought about it and I'll probably leave dA in a few weeks. Not only that, but I'm going to change my MSN and stuff like that. I want to start new, and the internet is great for refreshing isn't it?

So I'll probably delete all my works, journals and what not. I guess I'll give my closest friends my new email, but I don't want to give it to everyone. Some of you guys just don't believe in yourselves and this is something that upsets me a lot. I've put up with it for this long, but damn guys! You're better then you think and you people just can't see it. I'm just tired of telling you it over and over. It gets extremely annoying and it means no progress what so ever in your mental development. From now on, I just don't care. You guys are on your own

Another reason is because of Jessica. I can't really look at her art or get comments by her because it still sort of hurts. I guess I'll just remove the equation all together. I'm over her but you know, Promises with betray belong to her in my eyes.

Art wise, I probably won't draw much any more. Just the odd doodle here and there and stuff towards getting an animation or writing gigs.

I still love my O.C's, but I'll just keep them within my own heart from now on.

I've given up on this internet you speak of. It's a waste land and it's time I grew up I guess. I remember a guy ~Alex0902, he got out and I bet he's doing a lot better. Man I miss Chase...

So, some of you can probably find me on Steam too. I like you guys, but don't expect any emails of mine.

In other news...

I went to a religious ceremony on friday. I prayed for the ones who need the help the most. Will, Daniel, Dima, John, Chris, Dominic in Crotia, Adam, and my mother. I wished you all a safe journey through life as I sang my heart out and beat the ground till my fist was red. I hope you all get your luck in the future.


I'll say goodbye later. I've just got to think about this more. Leave a comment, I wanna know
-Stat/Jade

It dances to a lot of songs I have.

I'm sure there's a mathematical way to find out what kind of beats it works with but I say screw it and go by chance.

I've also found out that I'm swearing more nowadays. I do not know if it's a good thing or a bad thing though. I think it's bad

I love my clipboard, it makes drawing so easy now.

I love Bone now. It's a comic by Jeff Smith, google it. I just grew to love it's art, it's story, and the humor. I love joo Bone

I got an Animainiacs DVD with the money I was saving for a trip. I also got some new art supplies and whatnot, it was good purchase because I get inspired then draw.

Go check out Sigur ros. They fucking rule

So thar yee go, I feel dipsy tonight. WHEE! Now Heroes DVD

-Stat

Sometimes I wonder about my dog Bullseye. I loved that girl. She was a boarder collie that was black and white. She was so awesome as she'd always run with me, play with me, and love me unconventionally. I didn't really play with her enough though. I was a very distraught kids during my elementary days. I wish I did though. She was a great dog. Smart too. She'd put her head under your hand and make it roll down her back when you were super tired.

I wish I did more for that pup as she grew up. She was soft, loving and kind.

Unfortunately grandmother gave her up as we moved around. So I don't know where my dog can be found. On a farm I think, but I'm not sure.

I just hope that she's happier.

To Bullseye! The best damn dog that I have had

-Jade

Apparently a girl I really liked decided to give it up with me. It made me think a lot about myself.

When ever I get something good in my life I push it away. I've never accepted anything really truly good for myself. My loves in life get pushed away when I have them. With this in mind I figured I shouldn't love, or shouldn't expect anything nowadays. I'm just a menial worker upon this earth, A fleshoid of the normality, just, a guy upon the street.

I cared for her a lot, and she cared for me a lot. I guess it wasn't meant to be with my loathing of myself. How can someone love me when I can't love myself? Why should I be blessed when others suffer? It's not right, so lets change it.

I guess that's why I push, I feel like I don't deserve.

I'm pained to lose her, but I know she'll find better. For now, I'll be away in my room never trying to love again. I'll probably end my blood line. Hopefully, so I don't curse another generation.

EDIT: The pain will eventually end right? or at least dull in it's vindictive nature right? Cause I don't think ripping your own heart out is good for you.

-Jade